THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Birdman - 4 My Town (ft. Drake & Lil' Wayne)

Faux-urban radio pop at its finest. Birdman is old as shit and can't get over the product placement, consumerism name-dropping. Drake is the worst and/or least coolest lip sync-er ever. And Lil' Wayne can't help but drop sweet lines like "young money, like Ben Frank's baby pictures" and "I'm the shit, y'all janitors." It's a glass half full kind of thing.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: T.I. - I'm Back

He's back. But pay no mind. Go about your business. This is as bland as white rice.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Timbaland - Say Something (ft. Drake)

Timbaland is not cool anymore. His last couple albums have been big on hype and low on return, save for a quality single or two, like Shock Value's played-out "Apologize (ft. One Republic)" and "Way I Are (ft. Keri Hilson)." This, of course, curbing the massive cred he earned in 2006 sculpting Justin Timberlake ("My Love," "LoveStoned") and Nelly Furtado ("Say It Right," "Promiscuous"), as well as his prudent finagling onto M.I.A.'s much-loved Kala ("Come Around").

Drake isn't very cool either, so "Say Something" mostly works. Timbaland mugs his way throughout, taking the music world about as serious as a music producer veteran predictably should; Drake tries too hard, but it's endearing in a way. He's no Kanye or Weezy, and he'll never be, but he and T.I. can respectfully hang out in the second tier.

In this case, the uncool is appropriate.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Jamie Foxx - Winner (ft. Justin Timberlake & T.I.)

Amazing, huh? Three actors of this caliber all recording a song together!

I kid, I kid. The best Jamie Foxx song since Kanye's "Gold Digger" collab, and the best Justin Timberlake track since "Dick in a Box," and the best T.I. song since, well, T.I. actually doesn't seem to be trying that hard here. Actually, the whole thing is about one level above mediocrity; the bland boasting-to-one-in-particular of "Cause I'm a winner/Yea I'm a winner" brings down an otherwise impressive production effort. It's what we in the business call a 'relative success.'

I'd dance to it.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Kevin Rudolf - I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) (ft. Birdman, Jay Sean & Lil' Wayne)

Look at this gangster-lookin' Pee Wee Herman. Check out the pic on his Wikipedia too.

Funny thing is, I knew Kevin Rudolf looked like this (white and douche-y) when I first listened to "I Made It." Ditto the even more pronounced 'middle-school-dance-party-jam-with-Lil'-Wayne-saying-really-dirty-things-anyway-because-he's-Lil'-Wayne' of last year's "Let It Rock."

Hanging out with Weezy and gang makes you cooler by default, sure. But they can't save you, Mr. Rudolf. And it's obvious from your music.

And your Wikipedia pic.

WORTH A LISTEN: Drake - Over

This song has definitely questioned my non-believer status. I used to think Drake was some nobody Lil' Wayne picked up because he did a pretty good Lil' Wayne impression without overshadowing.

But given Weezy's relative absence this year, this is going to be the radio pop song to top in 2010.

Side question: Does the really lame video (and the implicit uncoolness it reveals) make Drake's brand of culturally relevant pop music more or less appealing? Discuss.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Cypress Hill - Armada Latina (ft. Pitbull & Marc Anthony)

Crosby, Stills & Nash have never sounded so cool? The question mark says it all.

Follow up question: Cypress Hill still have studio access?

Armada Latina (feat. Pitbull a...

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Ludacris - How Low

Thank you Ludacris for Pop Music: The Squeakquel. This chorus might be the most evil thing this side of the Black Eyed Peas. Check out the video if you like low budget science fiction aesthetics and/or sluts.

THE iTUNES TOP 100 & THE END OF THE WORLD: Justin Bieber - Baby (ft. Ludacris)

Wow. What a pairing. Ludacris, who's already played co-conspirator to a Eurodance-esque jam earlier this year, now joins 16-year-old heartthrob Justin Bieber for one of the most obnoxiously catchy singles of the new year (86 million views on Youtube!). Let's just say Ludacris phones in his verse (although they are definitely in the same room for the filming of the video), and the song loses luster on every listen. How long do you think this Bieber thing is gonna last? (for an example of the obsession, see: here).

FYI...Lady Gaga & Beyonce Try to Make Their Own Thriller

Beyonce and Lady Gaga have each produced their own share of like-it-or-loathe-it singles in their recent rises to female pop dominance. Beyonce had "Crazy in Love" and "Single Ladies" (like), but also "Halo" and "If I Were a Boy" (bleh). Lady Gaga had "Paparazzi" (like more than I should), but then the oversaturated brain-invaders "Pokerface" and "Just Dance."

Welcome "Telephone," the three-minute mindless club banger turned nine-minute epic video. Is the video's bizarreness genuine, harmlessly artificial, or unpleasantly profit-seeking? I still haven't figured it out. But I do know: it's rare to see a popular artist wearing less than his/her backup dancers, but Lady Gaga manages to pull that off.